


Meow Mix and Friskies - A Biography by Miss Miss Kitty Fantastico (That was not a typo)

by orphan_account



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2039793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miss Kitty Fantastico has had it with the stupid discomforts of feline life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meow Mix and Friskies - A Biography by Miss Miss Kitty Fantastico (That was not a typo)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I just had to. I need to write about a kitten who can talk and has anger issues. 
> 
> Really. I had to write this. 
> 
> I'm sorry that Miss Kitty talks about how terrible Willow is, but she warms up to her! :)

Alright. I'm gonna talk about my life BEFORE I met my "family". (Really, my so-called family is basically made up of a bunch of humans who pick me up and mess up my beautiful fur. Except for that tall one with the light hair. I can't see color so I can't really describe her very well.) 

Anyway, so I was born in what humans call a 'shelter'. Mama always said that I would be leaving her before I was grown, so I detached myself from her and my brothers as soon as I could open my eyes. It's not that I didn't love my real family, it's just that I didn't want to be sad when I was taken away by a human. Humans were always very nice to me, I just didn't like it when they picked me up.

Well, a lot of people liked me and thought I was pretty cute. (As Avril Lavigne says: I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen! Oh whoops, the nice human girl, not the obnoxious young one or the other adult one that hangs around the nice girl a lot, would be mad at me for using language like that, but who cares?) 

Sadly, a lot of young ones liked me, but the adult ones told the little ones to get a bigger cat. 

So that was pretty much what every day was like. All my larger brothers were adopted, and then Mama, so I was left alone in the shelter. Not that I cared much. I just sat alone, being picked up every so often, but I never had a single hope that I would be adopted. 

Then that nice girl came in. I knew from the moment she walked in that we were perfect for each other. I mewed and made myself look as cute as I could. Her eyes immediately set upon me. She didn't pick me up, but pet me and decided that she would take me home with her.

And that's how we met. Now, on to my rant:

I mean, really, what is it with human life? First I think I'm alone with the nice girl, but then she brings this  _other_ girl into our place, a much more annoying girl who chatted way too much in my opinion. At first I rebelled, I tried to tell the nice girl to get this other person out of there, by peeing on the new girl's shoes (Again, as Avril says: You know that I'm a crazy bitch, I do what I want when I feel like it!), but that didn't seem to work too well...

Apparently, humans don't understand cat urine language. That's just too bad for them.

And then they decide to spend _more_ time together, and even going as far as having sex right in front of me!

I mean, really. Why mentally scar me like that? I don't understand humans. Clearly, this new girl was a bad influence on my nice owner. But humans never pay attention to my obvious protests of the new girl's existence!

Then we had to  _move_. And once again, the other girl is in on this. Ugh. So we move, to this big new place. Actually, I liked it a little better, because I could escape if my owners decided to... uh...  _do it_. 

But then there were downsides. I realized how lucky I was to have that other girl when _another_ girl showed up. The younger, obviously juvenile, one was a menace compared to my owner and her lover. 

Ugh, and then I had to  _die_. Really. In my beautiful young life, I had to die. I was only about a year old, in human years. I was fifteen in my native aging system. I was a freakin TEENAGER! Well, it's kinda poetic, though. I did die a virgin.

But it was at the hands of that... that...  _murderer._ That  _menace_. I will never forgive her. I did forgive the lover of my owner, though, when I was taking my last breath. I decided that I did like the both of them, but I liked my owner best.

I'll never see her again... I heard rumors that my owner died. Maybe I'll find her in the heavens someday. 

But still. I'll never forgive that brat. She was always so full of herself. Ugh. 

Though I liked playing with the ball of string with her.

I never said that.

 

_Miss Kitty Fantastico (Plus my name, what is up with that?)_

 


End file.
